Could Mastering Manners Make A Difference In Our Schools And Communities

Could mastering manners make a difference in our schools, and communities? Are you finding that more and more people don’t seem to understand this simple word: R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Unfortunately, adults in our society are exhibiting less civility towards one another and without saying, our children are following suit. When is the last time you heard a youngster address an adult as Sir or Ma’am?  And if you were graced to hear such good manners, it is quite likely that you heard the adult ask not to be addressed that way because it made them feel old. Though the fine points of “good” manners may vary slightly with each generation, I think we would all agree that behavior based on respect is the ultimate goal.

When is the best time to start teaching such behavior? I would say the earlier the better. It is never too soon. Unfortunately simple things like yes sir and no sir for instance that used to be taught in the home have fallen by the way side and movies and television shows, even those marketed to children, encourage kids to be less respectful of others. With that said, it's no surprise that a lack of manners is rampant in our schools and communities across America.

Character education is a hot topic in our schools right now however education in manners gets little attention despite the fact that according to the National Association of Elementary School Principals lack of good manners in classrooms and on playgrounds is a growing problem.  In fact, education in etiquette and manners is often misconstrued as the same thing as character development. To reiterate this fact, I recently had a conversation with a principal of an elementary school who told me that he did not see the need for manners to be taught at the elementary school level because his students learn a character word each week. He said that it may be more appropriate for middle school kids.

In “Teaching Children Manners” (from the Better Homes and Gardens Guide to Parenting), Psychologist John Rosemond declares manners and respect are inseparable. He believes children can never learn to respect themselves unless they learn respect for others-- beginning with adults.  According to etiquette author Letitia Baldrige in “Manners of the Modern Child,” etiquette training is extremely valuable; she states her admonition to teach children good manners to help them develop self-esteem and self-confidence. She links manners with kindness and good human relations. I agree that etiquette and character development are closely related and one impacts or builds upon the other particularly where it relates to kindness and respect.  However, I believe that waiting until the middle school years is setting our children up for failure and setting our communities up for doom.  The middle school years are when kids are natural explorers looking for independence and without a positive resolve of respect for self and others they can be very dodgy years.